15: Beschenke Dich selbst
Jane’s experience with this gift
Martha Beck says that „every woman needs a cornfield“ – meaning a place where she can go and hide when she needs a bit of peace and quiet (you can read more about that here).
Well I didn’t have a cornfield. Our five-person family was staying in a mobile home on a campsite, so there wasn’t a lot of scope for solitude and I had to put my thinking-cap on to find a place to hide.
In the end, I just got a beach mat and laid it at the end of our little veranda, behind the table. That was my cool little place! I could lie there unobserved by the neighbours, looking up at the sun sparkling through the leaves or doing a few sit-ups and press-ups. Of course it didn’t take long for my family to find me, but I told them it was my happy place and they understood that and let me take a break every now and then.
I realised (again) that it’s up to me to say what I need. How can they be expected to know I need a break if I don’t tell them? And I also realised that modelling that kind of behaviour – being aware of and expressing your own needs – is a valuable gift for my kids too.